An email I sent..

The only thing you need to know before reading the following is that I've been bitching nonstop about the babies in my local free wireless, healthy food cafe.

So I decided to fart about town before I went to school. I'm in the
healthy food cafe. I now know what happens when there are no babies.

The guy sitting next to me won't stop talking to me. And he keeps
adjusting himself.

There's this woman across from me from Long Island that sounds like
the nanny. She is talking to her two Long Island friends and it's
seriously like being transported back to Suny Albany, land of the
downstate transplants. She has covered: her friend Tina, antisemitism,
how when they were looking for place to live she didn't like the idea
of a flat and made her husband buy the whole house, the fact that they
have a spiritual entity in her house called the green man, and she is
now reading from an inspirational book.

I throw up my hands. Give me screaming babies. Anything but Long
Island women of a certain age talking about their spiritual paths.

Oh god she's talking about crystals and going to see the "Indians" to
get turqoise. I am not sure if she means American Indians or the
people of India.